funny

Funny how I expected the worst for the days to come, funny how I woke up feeling lazy, yet, refreshed after a good night's sleep. Funny how that sleep started out with the worst expectations for the days ahead. Funny how I just made a full circle just now, with words!

I spent some time last night worrying again. College. I've got a place to stay while I'm over there, and a ride to and from school everyday. However, my mom wants me to come home every weekend. But, how? I can't ask my dad to drive me from Riverside to Van Nuys on Fridays, then wake up early on Mondays so he can travel from Riverside to Van Nuys, pick me up, then take us both to Irvine. I just can't. No matter how I want to. And I really, really want to.

My mom, my brother, and I have rarely been separated. Occasionally, Ely would visit our uncle at Bakersfield for the summer, but summer's only 3 months! By the first week, I already miss him. (which is one of the many reasons why I've stopped going to Bakersfield.) So, yeah, I can't imagine spending most of my junior year of college away from them. I'll miss them too much. I'll miss my kitty, Princess, the stuffed animal I still sleep with (ha -__-), everything and everyone I''ve grown up with for the past who-knows-how-many years.

This is what kept me up last night. But then I remembered this blog, thinking whether I should post this or not. And from that, I remembered a quote I posted on here, "Today is the Tomorrow we feared Yesterday." I took it in. How many times have I freaked out this summer only to find that it all came out OK in the end? I shouldn't worry. At least not so much. It's only a year. Hell, if I somehow learn how to drive over at my dad's, I am so moving back and driving to school everyday! I shouldn't worry. College is going to be awesome, I can feel it. It all comes down to whether or not I make the most of it, and I'll be damned if I waste the next 4 years of my life!

I'll miss them, sure. But I'm not moving away. No. I'm just doing whatever I can to make college easier, and less expensive. ;) It's good practice, too, for that one day when I have to move on, make my own life.

Hello UCI. Hello a new me. Not a different me, just a better me, for the good.